


Pale Skinned Promises

by lester_howell_fanfics



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction, Self-Esteem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 04:26:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lester_howell_fanfics/pseuds/lester_howell_fanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is Dan’s whole world. But now that the whole world knows, is it really worth it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pale Skinned Promises

Dan’s fingers shook uncontrollably as he tried to unlock the door to his apartment. The gut-wrenching feeling of guilt and horror at what he and Phil had done last week was haunting him. They wouldn’t leave him alone. His hair had curled because of the running. Suddenly, Dan dropped his keys, and as he bent down to pick them up, the door swung open.  
Phil Lester stood there angelically, looking down at his trembling boyfriend who was looking for his keys.  
“Dan?”  
“Don’t look at me, Phil, please.” Dan cried as he stood.  
Blood streamed down his face from his lip and a deep cut on his forehead. Dirt had found its way into the wound, making Dan’s face look even worse. Dan saw Phil’s jaw drop, but he knew his boyfriend would keep it together for his sake. And Dan was grateful for it.  
“Come on, let’s get you upstairs and cleaned up.” Phil whispered, knowing their nosey neighbours were moments away from poking their heads out of their doors at the commotion.  
Slowly, Phil pulled Dan up the stairs. He winced in agony each time Phil got him up the next step. It felt like they were on the stairs for an eternity.  
His body throbbed and ached as Dan forced himself to stand under the freezing water of the shower. He watched as the dried blood became liquid again and made the water at his feet turn red. He even tried cleaning out the cut on his face, but he knew he should ask Phil to do it.  
When he could no longer take it, Dan stepped out of the shower and looked at his naked form in the mirror. Disgust brewed in his stomach at the shape of his body, but now it was made even uglier by the bruises that were beginning to show and the fresh wounds he knew would take forever to heal. Knowing he couldn’t do anything about it, Dan pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a long sleeve shirt to conceal as much as he could from Phil.  
The bathroom door knob turned as Dan attempted to fix his disheveled hair. Phil’s vibrant blue eyes watched Dan, waiting. Neither of them moved.  
“Did he see the video?” Phil said, barely audible. His eyes fell to the ground.  
Dan didn’t need to respond. The coming out video they had made together had been circling the internet for a week. Phil’s words echoed in Dan’s head. 'Guys, we have something to tell you. I am in love with the beautiful young man sitting beside me. And from what he’s told me, he likes me too.' Dan grimaced. ‘Like’ was an understatement.  
“My brother pulled him off me in the end. He put me in his car and drove me here. Mum just cried. He told me to never show my face near him or his family again.” said Dan, avoiding Phil’s eyes.  
“I’m so sorry, Dan.” Phil said, closing the distance between him and the man he loved in two quick strides.  
Dan’s aching face pulled into a small smile as two pale arms wrapped around his waist, and a soft cheek pressed against his neck.  
“I don’t want to go back there again, Phil. Ever. I want it to be just you and me.”  
“As long as Loki and the houseplants are allowed to stay, I’m never leaving your side again.” Phil murmured into Dan’s neck.  
“You and your bloody houseplants, Phil Lester.” He chuckled.  
He felt Phil’s lips move into a smile. “I think there’s leftover pizza in the fridge. Do you want some?”  
“I thought the doctor told you no more lactose things.”  
“What the doctor doesn’t know won’t hurt him, Danny boy.”  
Dan laughed “Yeah, but it will hurt you, Philly.”  
Phil took Dan’s thin hand and lead him to the kitchen, carefully opening the glass door of eternal pain before turning the light on.  
“Speaking of people getting hurt…” Phil started.  
Dan sighed “I’m really not sure if hitting upload on that video was the best choice we’ve ever made, Phil.”  
“Dan, I know it sucks right now.” Phil squeezed Dan’s hand before letting go to get their pizza. “But, you know how unhappy we were getting, having to edit out our kissing and keeping the secrets every day. All of this will pass.”  
“I can’t go to buy fucking milk without some skinny middle class white kids laughing at me, calling me a faggot and throwing rocks at me. When I go on Twitter, it’s just a shit storm of ‘I KNEW PHAN WAS REAL’ and ‘the hair gave him away years ago’. And then I go to my parent’s house for the first time in a year and I get beaten to the ground by my homophobic father. How are we going to live our lives like normal people when we get treated as second class citizens just because we like men and each other?” Dan ranted, throwing his arms around in odd gestures and movements.  
Phil had stopped organising the pizza. His eyes were locked with Dan’s. “I don’t like you, Dan. I’m in love with you. And I don’t care how many people on the internet tell us that it’s wrong, or if people stop watching our videos. I am unapologetically in love with you, and I will sacrifice everything I have built on the internet over the last decade to have you.”  
Dan’s eyes were swimming with tears. “I’m a bisexual man and you’re a gay man, Phil. This world of homophobia and assholes, it’s just…too much. I love you more than I can put into words, but at what cost? I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”  
Phil’s face sunk. Dan thought he looked as if he’d been hit by a truck. “Dan…are you…leaving…me?”  
Dan smiled and reached for the beautiful pale boy in front of him. Even though his body ached to do it, he held the most important thing in the universe close to his chest. “No. Never. I fought so hard to get you, I wouldn’t give you up because of a few idiots on the internet.” He felt Phil breathe a sigh of relief.  
Phil must have noticed Dan’s wincing. The concerned look on his face had become worse when Phil pulled away.  
“What…how much did your dad hurt you, Dan?” Phil asked, his voice shaking.  
Dan’s head quickly turned to the ground. “I look horrible. Ugly. You don’t want to see it, Phil.”  
“Dan, you are the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Nothing will ever change that. Please, just show me your torso. Take of your shirt.”  
Dan’s body stiffened. He knew he’d have to do it. But what if Phil saw it and hated it and left him? His insecure thoughts began overwhelming him, clouding his mind. Guessing what was going on in his boyfriend’s head, Phil stepped forwards and began to lift Dan’s shirt. At the sight of the bruises, Phil gasped. Dan was crying again.  
“Oh, Dan…” Phil trailed off, unable to articulate the pain that this was causing him. He let Dan’s shirt drop.  
“Don’t…”  
“I’m going to have that man arrested for touching you-”  
“Phil, please, don’t, he’s my dad. If he went to prison, mum wouldn’t survive.” Dan pleaded.  
“You don’t deserve this-”  
“Yes, I do, Phil. I’m a fucking disgusting bisexual, I should be shot for wanting you. I don’t deserve you at all.”  
There were a few moments of silence before Phil spoke again. “Dan, I know that for years, you have hated yourself because of your sexuality. When you spoke about it in your videos, the pain in the voice and the look in your eyes…I used to cry watching them, wanting to tell you how important you were to me. When I finally got the guts to ask you out, my hands had been shaking for weeks with nerves. You said yes, and you have no idea how stupid I must have looked walking through Manchester with a ridiculous big smile on my face. Ever since we started tweeting and skyping, I knew that you were someone incredibly special. The last few years with you have been the best of my entire life. I am in love with you, Daniel James Howell. And I regret absolutely nothing.”  
Dan stared into Phil’s eyes. There was something in them he had never seen before. “You promise that we’ll be okay? That you won’t leave me? Ever?”  
Phil smiled. “There is not a man on Earth who could possibly distract me from you, Dan.”  
Dan’s cheeks turned pink. “I love you, Philip Michael Lester.”  
“I love you, too, Daniel James Howell. Everything’s going to be okay. I promise.”


End file.
